Personal nonsense and updates on life!!
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| Lighthearted Personal nonsense and updates on life!! |
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005 Sometimes I'm far too aware of my interactions with others. I suppose it is good in a way, but in another way it's just annoying. There are so many people here that I've met and interacted with. I remember almost every occasion. It upsets me when people don't remember me or don't acknowledge that they know who I am. This is Texas. Every face is a friendly one. I smile or wave or nod to any person I have ever interacted with on any level. I remember every face that I meet. Still, there are people on this campus who either don't recall ever meeting me or choose not to recognize me as familiar. I'm not saying that I have to be friends with said people. I just seek acknowledgement. Maybe too much. In other news, I went out on Sunday night (yes, Sunday... it was a holiday weekend). Portia and I went to a bar. Had a few drinks. I ended up crashing in a bed, not my own. So, now there's are several new faces and names to add to my collection. I've been searching for one in particular. It's driving me crazy. The reason I don't do things like I did Sunday very often is for this very reason. My keen sense of awareness sometimes turns into mild paranoia. I have a need to connect with the people that I meet. It bothers me when I don't, which is why I can't be intimate with strangers. I have to fill that gap between acquantanship and friendship. I'm feeling that with this person, but I don't even know if said person has a way to contact me. I don't know if said person will contact me even if said person does. Said person may not care. It's very possible that said person doesn't care. That's just how people are. I don't meet very many people that are like in that respect. Actually, I don't think I've ever met a person like me in that respect. Maybe one or two. My best friend and my best guy friend. They are rare people. Kind, loving, and giving to a fault, much like myself. So, I would really like to get to know said person, but chances are I will never see said person again. If I do, said person may not remember a thing about me because we were both pretty intoxicated. Even still, said person said lovely things about me. It is my hope that the alcohol was speaking truthfully and not totally in lust. Alcohol can be tricky that way. Sometimes I despise my vulnerability. It is who I am though. I have to accept it. Not caring is a pretense I do not carry well. posted by The Lady | 3:03 PM (0) comments
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